Introducing: Newt is a wizard who is particularly skilled at reading the magic surrounding people. He can tell just about anyone which story they are living and their role in it. He can even sometimes see where the tale is going. He works as a witch hunter but recently stopped focusing on witches alone when he ended his job with Nim from A Witch’s Song, whom he fell in love with and flirted with until she agreed to marry him.
Me: All right, let’s get this done quickly.
Siren: Quickly? Quickly?! You just blazed through editing my story in three days and you want to do this quickly?!
Me: I have a k-drama to watch! At least I finished ya, didn’t I?
Siren: You’re not even certain if that’s true!
Me: That’s because you had to go and fall in love with a guy named Clinton!
Siren: Clinton was a nice person until you made him depressed!
Me: This is the most graphic and disturbing book I’ve written yet. Of course someone is going to be depressed!
Siren: Don’t give me that.
Me: What did you expect? The siren doesn’t get a happy ending!
Siren: Oh don’t act like I’m really just going to disappear like Newt promised.
Newt: Hey! I only say what she puts on the page.
Me: You do disappear, dang it!
Siren: Liar! What have you got planned for book 12 then?
Newt: Whoa. That’s like…a whole six books away. Why are we already planned that far ahead?
Siren: Oh, don’t pretend that you don’t know. She has us planned up to book 28.
Me: We’re only set in stone until book 12! After that things may get moved around.
Siren: They may get moved around even at book 8. Don’t act like you don’t do that.
Me: Enough! We’re done. Argument suspended. I am going to finish my k-drama!
Newt: What about those author interview questions you have to write?
Me: There are only five more episodes of the k-drama. I will get it done.
Siren: Yeah but…each episode is like…2 hours.
Me: Oh what an exaggeration.
Siren: Your whole life is an exaggeration.
Me: You know what! You die!
Siren: No. Wishful thinking.
Me: Who’s the creator and has all cosmic control over all your lives?!
They go silent, and I have won again.